Listen in as one friend introduces another to Doctor Who with the help of our old pal, alcohol.
We watch "Partners In Crime" (Series 4, Episode 1) where the Doctor and jilted bride Donna Noble re-meet cute in London. Prior to that, Donna regrets her choice to not travel with the Doctor (because...well, have you met her mum?), the Doctor nearly recruits a new spunky reporter as companion (not-Sarah Jane?) whilst separately investigating a new weight loss pill with adorable side effects. And then Rose shows up. Wait...what?
We watch "Voyage of the Damned" (Series 4, Episode 0), a Christmas episode where the Doctor saves the Earth from a holiday threat...yet again. This time the disaster is in the form of the Titanic which the Doctor literally bumped into at the end of the last episode. Whilst on the luxury starliner, the Doctor foils the evil Max Capricorn, converts evil Heavenly Angels and finds that he just can't get Astrid out of his head. All this and returning guest Denise? Thanks Father Christmas!
In this episode, we wax philosophical about the third series of 'Doctor Who'. And by that I mean we crack bad jokes all whilst drinking. In betwixt the joke cracking, we compare and contrast Rose and Not-Rose...I mean Martha, conduct various quizzes and play a variation of the game 'F*#k, Marry, Kill' with (what else?) an alcohol theme suggested by friend of the show Tim. This past season was brought to by Malört. If 2017 didn't leave a bad enough taste in your mouth, try Malört!
We watch "Last of the Time Lords" (Series 3, Episode 13) where the Doctor channels his inner house elf and Not-Rose finally earns her own moniker: Mm...Mar...Martha! And whilst the Doctor was reminiscing about old times with the Master, Martha was traveling the globe teaching the world to sing "Kumbaya Time Lord". So after the Doctor inevitably saves the day (with a big assist from Martha), Martha finally grows a pair and decides to break up with him. "It's not me...it's you...". Damn straight!
We watch "The Sound of Drums" (Series 3, Episode 12) where the Doctor returns Not-Rose to present day London from the End of the Universe too late to vote in the election. In her absence, a despotic, narcissistic, misogynistic world leader is elected and promptly brings about the end of human civilization whilst capturing the Doctor and killing Captain Jack. So the moral of the story is get out and vote people or else Captain Jack dies again! And again! And again....
We watch "Utopia" (Series 3, Episode 11) where the Doctor and Not-Rose travel to the year 100 Trillion with a hitch-hiking Captain Jack. Whilst there, they encounter the last of humankind, avoid dining with cannibals and meet Professor Yana. But the kindly Professor turns out to be a masquerading acquaintance of the Doctor's. An eeevil Timelord known as the Master. He's like the Moriarty to the Doctor's Holmes. Or like Puddy Tat to Tweety Bird. Or like Radiohead to Lana Del Rey. Or like... you get the picture.
We watch "Blink" (Series 3, Episode 10) where the Doctor and Not Rose travel to London for the Easter Eggs. Whilst there, we meet Sally's Angels: Kathy, the Bumbling Angel; Billy, the (too) Inquisitive Angel and Larry, the Blond One. The Angels are called in to solve the Mystery of the Disappearing Car Owners. Spoiler warning: the Angels did it. And they would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling Angels!
We watch "The Family of Blood" (Series 3, Episode 9) where not-quite-The-Doctor and Not Rose raise a boarding school child army to defend the Doctor against an alien invasion. Whist there, Not Rose gets into a pub fight, Not Rose professes her love for the Doctor and Not Rose is then mortified that the Doctor remembers said profession after losing his humanity. And the Doctor causes a whole bunch of deaths. And breaks Joan's heart. But at least he showed the aliens mercy. Wait! What? Oh crap...
We watch "Human Nature" (Series 3, Episode 8) where the Doctor and Not-Rose travel to early 20th century England to escape body snatching aliens. Whilst there, the Doctor falls in love with a human (not Not-Rose to her annoyance), Not-Rose experiences British race and class discrimination in one unhappy bundle and scarecrows continue to terrorize viewers. Yeah, I'm talking to you, Wizard of Oz. If I only had a book of matches...
We watch "42" (Series 3, Episode 7) where the Tardis team discovers that life exists in some star whilst traipsing about the universe. After materializing on a distressed spaceship, the Doctor catches sun poisoning, Not-Rose gets harangued by her mum over the phone and everything still manages to work out in the end. See what we did there? The answer to that ultimate question will be released on episode six by nine.
We watch "The Lazarus Experiment" (Series 3, Episode 6) where the Doctor returns Not-Rose to her flat the day after she left. Whilst there, the Doctor escorts Not-Rose to a cocktail party where her sister accuses Not-Rose of hitting on her boss, the Doctor is verbally attacked by her mother and her brother is literally attacked by a giant human-scorpion hybrid. Sounded like a typical EastEnders episode until that last bit, eh?
We watch "Evolution of the Daleks" (Series 3, Episode 5) where the Doctor and Not-Rose, still in Depression era New York, face a hairy situation in their attempt to choke off the attack of a one-eyed monster at the base of it's operations. Whilst there, the Doctor spreads his DNA amongst the masses (less gross than it sounds), Not-Rose hosts a pig roast and the Earth just doesn't give a hoot because the 1930's just sucked y'all.
We watch "Daleks Take Manhattan" (Series 3, Episode 4) where the Doctor takes Not-Rose to 1930's New York as an apology for dragging her along on the Doctor/Actual Rose greatest hits tour of New New York. Whilst there, Captain Panaka defends the homeless, Peter Parker encounters the SpiderPig and Barty Crouch Junior battles the Cult of Skaro. This episode of the DrunktorWho Podcast is sponsored by the Internet Movie Database. IMDB, use it when you want to find out where Billie Piper is now.
We watch "Gridlock" (Series 3, Episode 3) where the Doctor goes back to New Earth and takes Not-Rose to the place where 10 and Rose had their first date. Seriously Doctor? Whilst there, Not-Rose gets car jacked, the Doctor gives chase by hopping from car to car (not as exciting as it sounds though), the Face of Boe finally dies and we learn what the offspring of humans mated with cats look like (unfortunately, not as disturbing as that sounds).
We watch "The Shakespeare Code" (Series 3, Episode 2) where the Doctor and Not-Rose travel back to Elizabethan England to see William Shakespeare's latest play starring Gwyneth Paltrow. Whilst there, Shakespeare falls under the influence of a trio of witches, Not-Rose nearly manages to sleep with the Doctor and the Doctor narrowly escapes being skewered at the behest of Elizabeth I. Seriously, what magical spell does the Doctor weave on these monarchs? Well...we know it ain't expelliarmus.
We watch "Smith and Jones" (Series 3, Episode 1) where the Doctor finds a new companion called Not-Rose (or Martha to her family) and gets mysteriously transported to the Moon. Whilst there, the Doctor and Not-Rose keep one step ahead of a blood sucking old lady and the rhino-cops searching for her but still find time to snog. Rose who?
We watch "The Runaway Bride" (Series 3, Episode 0) with another special guest, Denise! This is the second of the New Who Christmas Specials where the newly single Doctor is introduced to Donna, accidentally plucked from her wedding by the Tardis. Whilst attempting to return Donna to the ceremony, the Doctor commits multiple crimes, Donna discovers her betrothed really loves a giant spider and we fall in love with Donna. Will we see her again? If we're lucky.
In this episode, Steve and John ramble on about their fan-girl love for David Tenant's first series of portraying the Doctor. Plus John quizzes Steve about his series two memories, Steve waxes philosophical about Scooti (just let it go Steve!) and Steve queries John about the Doctor Whoniverse whilst John dances around attempting to answer said queries and not break the timeline (too badly) for Steve.
We watch "Doomsday" (Series 2, Episode 13) where Rose ultimately did not die, the Doctor saved the day but lost his bestie and Jackie got knocked up. Whilst all these shenanigans were going on, the Cybermen and the Daleks were acting like the Real Housewives of Cardiff by totally throwing down on each other, Rose bids adieu to the Doctor for the final (?!) time and tells him she loves him but he doesn't answer back. Awkward.
We watch "Army of Ghosts" (Series 2, Episode 12) where the Doctor, Rose, and "ghosts” arrive in London to have a lovely visit with Jackie and do some laundry. Whilst there, the Doctor meets the big hair in charge of Torchwood, Jackie impersonates Rose and Rose hooks up with old flame Mickey who brought some friends with him. And Rose teases her upcoming death... again.